SHIVERS
Entry #1
Belongs to : Elias Kalt
Role : CLIENT
Thursday, 4:03 AM - I can’t think of anything else I could do to calm myself down...so I’m writing this. I don’t know if it’s going to work but I am tired and I need to clear my head, so why not?
It’s 4:04 AM right now. My batch leaves for New Prague this morning...like...in around two and a half hours. It’s a one-week trip, but we are going to cross through a pretty rough sector of the Holt that our guide says is a “neat little shortcut”. That way, the ETA jumps to only three days… “Only” three days…
Apparently lots of folk stray around those parts of the woods and so our guide says it’s worth the risk, and that we’ll split profits if we come across any lost clients…
I can’t sleep. An ocean of fear an anxiety trampled over me the second I was assigned to the batch…
I was fine before. I did my best to ignore the bad thoughts and it worked, right up until the point where it all materialized into a date, a time...a so called “batch” and a guide to lead it… names, faces...Only then did the waves of dread start to hit my face…to cover my eyes and fill my lungs…to drag me down…
It’s my first ever run, so that explains it. I’ve heard countless stories. Mutated animals that rip you apart… people abruptly disappearing into the darkness with stupid expressions on their faces.
These stories would’ve made great horror movies back before the Rapture.
I have two more hours to try and get some sleep...I’ll try again…
Thursday, 6:16 AM – I didn’t sleep. I don’t know if I can do this… I thought it will get better but my fear is taking control of me…
It’s getting worse by the minute. I feel cold but warm at the same time and I can’t stop my hands from shaking. Is this normal? Some of my batch colleagues visibly relate to this, but some seem surprisingly calm...stoic, almost. Have they traveled before? It’s a sizable batch so maybe the statistics will be in our favor…
Dog packs are known to avoid big batches. It’s not as if dogs are our biggest concern, but at least that’s something positive to think about. Writing like this is incredibly hard, but I seem to be regaining control of my hands. Our guide isn’t here yet. Twelve more minutes.
Thursday, 11:13 AM – Now that it all started I feel a little better. The guide was seven minutes late, and I can confidently say that those were the most nerve wrecking seven minutes of my life. I’d never seen life outside our settlement so I didn’t know what to expect...They call us “Inners”. Now that we are past the gates and into the Holt, it all seems more manageable, somehow…I am still scared, but at least I sort of know what I am scared of. I heard somewhere that fear of the unknown is what paralyzes the mind, while fear of your surroundings is what strengthens it... It’s true.
The guide seems friendly and good at what he does. Considering his late appearance, I was a little nervous at first and doubted his skills, but I am happy to admit that I was wrong, judging by how things are going so far. This was our first break of the day but he is calling us to reform the batch. We will have another short break at 5:00, and set up camp at sunset. I will have plenty of time to write then.
Thursday, 7:31 PM – Today was a hard day. We walked so much, I felt like my thighs were about to burst open. My lower back is killing me and I can’t wait to lay down, even for just a little bit. The anxiety is still here, but I feel like I can hide it better now. The horror stories lose meaning once you’re living inside them...it all becomes situational. Primal.
Daniel, our guide, said that we should not lose momentum tomorrow if we want to make it by Saturday night...funny coming from the guy who was late for the departure. But, anyway… Four of us are setting up the tent while two are handling the food and fire. Two others and I got lucky enough to be able to sit it out and reap the rewards, since our help wasn’t really needed. I’m happy that I get to write...it helps.
In just one day, I learned so much. Life is so different outside...So fragile. Everything can kill you, and most things will, if given the chance. Hell, even a falling branch will wipe out a full batch in an instant if fate allows it. Making a fire seems so simple at home… but here, it’s way more complicated and infinitely more dangerous. The fire has to be started on a raised metal platform. And long before even starting it, you have to carry said platform. If any relevant source of heat makes direct contact with the ground for more than a few minutes, it guarantees a root burst. The trees grow at an exceptionally faster rate when high temperatures are involved, for some reason.
It’s part of why the Rupture happened...How it began…
We heard a pack of dogs in the distance today. They most likely caught our smell but never engaged. The big batch theory is true! Either that or it was getting late and they were retreating to their dens, but I’m glad we didn’t get to find out. Isn’t it funny to think that those dogs were the most terrifying sound I’ve heard in my life, yet they are commonly seen as prey by most other creatures of the Holt?
At home, creatures don’t get close. Breaches are generally a pretty rare occurrence. Our settlements condition us to try and live a “normal” life. Sure, we see the blood when a bad batch arrives...we hear the stories, but they are all distant echoes of the actual experience. Here, among the roots, you become the story...you bleed that blood.
Daniel held a briefing at the campfire. He wanted us to skip the 11:00 break tomorrow and push harder to reach another landmark by noon.
The Holt has a weird way of showing its beauty at sunset. The colors of the leaves sometimes change, but today they were blue. I like that blue. I have confidence I will be able to sleep tonight.
Friday, 9:41 PM – We lost one…Name was Johann, for whatever it’s worth. Walking around in hell, you realize that names become almost useless, entire identities wiped clean in mere seconds…We might as well go by numbers. We stopped for what felt like a few minutes, five at most. He was just gone. Silently, like that, gone. Daniel was torn but ultimately decided to keep going, there was no time to look for him. It was a tough decision to make and he did show empathy, but along with that empathy came a lot of unwavering pragmatism. He knew that a Sap Storm was expected to happen in that sector and we were meant to get shelter at an old bunker. Now, wherever he is, he’s dead, Daniel says. It felt like a game for a while...like we would all reach Prague and drink a few beers to honor our trip. The reality of it caught up with me.
We woke up to screams. Human screams, sounded like a woman. We all jumped up getting ready to look for Johann but Daniel ordered us to all sit down and shut up. We had to put the fire out. We asked for an explanation but we were met with silence.
I am completely exhausted. I won’t sleep tonight.
Saturday, 11:04 AM – We’re moving again. We covered a considerable sector of the Holt in relatively good time, this morning. Daniel was expecting a gravity pocket to be in the way but it seemingly “popped” a while ago. When pockets pop, they compress and heat up to thousands of degrees Celsius. Then, right before disappearing, they send out a barrage of whatever debris they had sucked in, up to that point. We don’t know for sure, but after a pop, they’re thought to quietly form in a random part of the Holt. Thinking about that, I got goosebumps. Imagine a gravity pocket forming inside a settlement...the carnage...I’ve never heard any stories about it, but then again… who would even live to tell such a tale?
Saturday, 7:28 PM - We just finished setting up camp somewhere around “The Disk” landmark. I learned that there are lots of these landmarks scattered around the Holt and how they help guides navigate these “woods”. Usually they are very large, stable structures that don’t move a lot with the Holt. Obviously, the more specific your destination, the smaller and more unstable these landmarks get.
A car stuck in a tree today could, in a week, be nothing more than a crushed pile of metal on the ground a mile from its original location. So much for a “landmark”.
I asked Daniel what “The Disk” was and he vaguely described it as a “very large antenna” that’s up in the trees. It looks like it’s almost one with the canopy, some say.
I had no idea what it meant but, apparently, an antenna is “something they used for communication in the past” and is “very large and circular, made of metal”...I can’t see anything that matches that description from our campsite, but it doesn’t really matter. I trust Daniel. He says we’re close.
Tomorrow, we’ll probably reach New Prague by noon. The atmosphere is grim ever since Johann, at least to me, but it seems like it’s nothing an experienced Guide or Client wouldn’t be able to shake off. We didn’t really talk before but now...it’s dead quiet. Daniel insists that considering the size of this batch, statistically, this is a good outcome. I now doubt the sliver of empathy he showed yesterday. Was it just meant for damage control? Did he not care? Are they really that far gone? That desensitized to the loss of human life? How used can one get to this? What’s clear is that none of these are questions I could ever answer.
I also asked Daniel about the scream from last night, but he said that he’s going to explain at the bar, whenever we get there. Something about a “dying Stray”. I have so much to learn…
New Prague is close.
She is not expecting me…
I hope I make it.
End of Entry#1